Taking Charge of Your Fertility

It's been over a year and a half since my last post in March 2013, which was about reducing Carter's tv and iPad time to only weekend use. I'm glad to report that we are still going strong with that rule and it's working out great! Carter started full time preschool in Fall 2013 and is in preK this school year so Monday thru Friday he is focused on school and other learning activities.

I've been thinking about returning to this blog for a long time but the thoughts never made it to the page. My life has changed a lot since last year. Carter is 4 years old and full of energy and attitude. We also have a new addition to the family, Savannah Rose Doss, who just hit her 4 month birthday and is such a joy. It took us over a year to become pregnant with Savannah and recently I have come across many women who are facing the challenge of becoming pregnant. This reminded me of our struggle and prompted me to share this post.

With Carter, fertility wasn't even a thought because we literally became pregnant 2 weeks after I stopped taking birth control pills. I had always envisioned it would take months because I had been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) which caused my menstrual cycle to be infrequent and irregular. So imagine my surprise when a pregnancy test showed the "+" sign only 2 months later (and I was nearly 2 months pregnant). After contemplating for a year whether we wanted more children, Jimmy and I started trying to get pregnant again just after Carter's 2nd birthday in June 2012. Just like before, I stopped taking my birth control pills and expected to get pregnant quickly. After several months had passed with no success, I decided to visit my gynecologist to make sure there was nothing reproductively wrong. I was dismayed when the doctor's first suggestion was to put me on Clomid to stimulate ovulation and increase the number of eggs released from my ovaries. In general, I am anti-medication when other methods have not been considered, so I did not agree with this approach. In fact, it prompted me to find a new gynecologist.

After a couple more months trying to get pregnant on our own using the Ovulation App on my iPhone, I recalled that a friend of mine (who also had trouble getting pregnant) recommended a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. My friend read this book and followed the methods suggested and successfully became pregnant after years of trying. After recalling this conversation, I immediately went to my local library and checked out the book. I was immediately mesmerized by its contents. In her book, Toni discusses the Fertility Awareness Method, which is basically learning your body's ovulation schedule in order to pinpoint the optimal times to become pregnant or to avoid becoming pregnant. I was shocked at how little I actually knew about the female menstrual cycle. I had always had an irregular cycle but now I finally understood how to discover the regularity in my irregularity (if that makes sense). Most ovulation products are based on a 28 day menstrual cycle so if you don't fit into that category they likely will not work for you. The book shows you how to chart your body temperatures and how to monitor your vaginal fluids so that you can pinpoint when you are ovulating. Let me tell you…it took some work…but it was work I was willing to do because I was not interested in taking any medication.

In June 2013, after a year of trying unsuccessfully, I began sleeping with a thermometer on the nightstand next to my bed and the first thing I did each morning was take my temperature and write it down on the fertility chart I was keeping. Once I got into the routine it really wasn't that tedious. I also had to write down the consistency of my vaginal fluids, when we were having sex, and whether I exercised or traveled (which could affect body temperature). It took me almost 2 months of charting before I completed my first cycle which turned out to be 40 days instead of the normal 28 days. My next cycle was 50 days. So in 3 months I had only had 2 menstrual cycles. Based on this information, I had to go about trying to pinpoint my ovulation schedule. This was not easy to do since my cycle was different in duration each time but I did my best with the information I had collected so far.

Around mid-October 2013 my body started to feel different. I started feeling lightheaded and fatigued when exercising and my appetite became voracious. I hadn't taken a pregnancy test but I knew I was with child. Based on my charting, I was able to estimate the date range of conception because I had recorded each time we had sex, and the changes in my temperature readings indicated when I was ovulating. Oddly enough, my estimate was better than the estimate given to me by the ultrasound tech at my first doctor's visit. Her estimate was based on the first day of my last menstrual cycle but because I know my cycle is irregular I was able to tell her that was an incorrect way of determining the date of conception for my body. This was confirmed once she completed the ultrasound. In that moment I felt very empowered and in tune with my body.

I won't bore you with the details of 39 weeks of pregnancy but Savannah Rose Doss entered the world on June 12, 2014 and I believe I owe her life to the grace of God but also to the knowledge I obtained from Toni Weschler on how to take charge of my fertility.

This post is not a commentary on which fertility choice you should make if you are having difficulty becoming pregnant. I understand that there are many barriers to becoming pregnant and that they are not all as simple as having an irregular cycle. However, whatever your barrier may be, I would still recommend "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" because at the very least it will help you better understand your menstrual cycle and how it factors into you becoming pregnant and maintaining a viable fetus during the early stages of pregnancy.