Going from 1 to 2 Kids: Not That Bad

Before having 2 children I would hear horror stories of how challenging it was to go from having 1 child to having 2. Armed with this knowledge I prepared my mind for this hard transition before Savannah was born. Savannah was born in June which meant that Carter was out of school for the summer. I made sure he had planned activities and summer camps lined up so I could focus on all the nursing and diaper changing that would ensue. I put my mom on a tight schedule to fill in when I needed help and I put Jimmy on night duty so I could get a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Initially, I didn't feel much of a change with 2 children. Jimmy and my mom provided a great support system and Carter was and is very loving towards Savannah. The hardest part was not adjusting to an additional child, it was recovering from another c-section. Even though I had a c-section with Carter, I intended on attempting a vaginal birth with Savannah (VBAC). With Carter, I attributed my c-section to poor medical care while I was in labor. (The anesthesiologist administered my epidural without hooking me up to fluids even though I had been vomiting for several hours during labor. This caused my blood pressure to crash and Carter's heart rate to become unstable. Cue…emergency c-section.) With Savannah, labor was moving along smoothly until little mama decided she wasn't ready to come out and wasn't descending. Eventually, the doctor decided a c-section was the safest route and I agreed. When the doctor pulled her out, the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times, explaining why she did not descend on her own.

Recovering from a c-section the second time around was more difficult than the first. It felt a lot more painful and my incision became infected thereby increasing the pain. Nevertheless, I had resumed regular activities after 2 weeks. I even went to the Jay Z/Beyonce concert; although the dancing was probably not the best thing for my healing process. By the time Savannah was a month old I felt back to normal. It definitely helped that she is the ideal baby. She was sleeping through the night at a month old, she only cried when she needed something, she nursed well, and she loved to be hugged and cuddled. Meanwhile, we kept Carter busy in so many activities that he didn't have time to be concerned with the new little person in the house. Summer went by without a hitch but the true test would be when school started and how I would manage getting Carter ready, feeding Savannah, making breakfast and lunch, and getting us all in the car and to school on time.

This leads me to the first time I felt the added weight of having 2 kids. Getting 2 kids bathed, dressed, fed, and into the car can be a challenge. Oh wait…and I forgot to add doing all those things for myself as well. In the beginning I grossly underestimated the time it took to make this happen. I had developed a great system for Carter and I where I could lay out his clothes and he could get himself dressed. Then I would come in to brush his teeth, wash his face, brush his hair, etc. We could both be dressed and ready to go in an hour. But with Savannah, I also had to factor in feeding time, a diaper change, and nap time. These were things I hadn't had to think about for a while and it took a minute for me to adjust to my new reality. Thankfully, a friend gave me a book called "Moms On Call" by Laura Hunter and Jennifer Walker. This book has a lot of basic information for infants 0-6 months and the section most useful for me was putting your baby on a schedule. Typically, I don't love schedules and am more of a go with the flow kind of person. But with 2 babies, I recognized quickly that I would lose my sanity if I didn't have a schedule to rely upon. So I wrote up the schedule and posted it to the refrigerator door. It goes something like this:

6:15 am - Wake up, Get Dressed
6:30 am - Wake up Carter, Get Carter Dressed
6:45 am - Wake up, Change, and Feed Savannah
7:00 am - Make Breakfast and Lunch
7:30 am - Leave for School
8:30 am - Feed Savannah
9-10:30 am - Savannah's Naptime, Diaper Change
10:30 am - Diaper Change, Dress Savannah, Feed Savannah
11:00 am - Playtime with Savannah
12:30 pm - Diaper Change, Feed Savannah
1-2:30 pm - Savannah's Naptime
2:30 pm - Diaper Change, Feed Savannah
2:50 pm - Leave to Pick up Carter from School
3:45 pm - Return Home, Snack for Carter, Homework
4:00 pm - Cook Dinner
5-5:30 pm - Everyone Eats Dinner
5:30-6:30 pm - Playtime for Carter and Savannah
6:30 pm - Bath for Savannah, Shower for Carter
7:30 pm - Bedtime for Carter
7:45 pm - Feed Savannah, Check Diaper
8:00 pm - Bedtime for Savannah
11:00 pm - My Bedtime

And somewhere in there I get done the things I want to accomplish during the day (e.g. cleaning, emails, phone calls, exercise, grocery shopping, etc.). I also have my mom to take over with Savannah when I have appointments or when something requires my undivided attention. This schedule actually makes the day to day pretty easy. Now I'm not saying there aren't days when I'm exhausted but I think it would be even worse if I didn't keep as close to this schedule as possible.

So while going from 1 to 2 kids has definitely been a transition, it has not been as difficult as I thought it would be. And now that I have Carter and Savannah, I couldn't imagine life without either of them.